34 of the weirdest, most random holidays & observances in 2013


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From World Naked Bike Ride Month to Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night, we present to you the most bizarre and baffling observances scheduled throughout 2013. Warning: It gets weird. Really weird. Also: Cats have entirely too many theme days devoted to them.

And yes, we realize you’ve missed almost half of these days at this point. Apologies for depriving you of International Fanny Pack Day. Maybe it’ll happen again next year.


Cuckoo Dancing Week

Jan. 11-17: In case you don’t already have the choreography memorized like the rest of us:


National Cowboy Poetry Gathering Week

Jan. 28 to Feb. 2: Because cowboys and poetry go together like country music and beer — apparently.


Happy Mew Year for Cats Day

Vitals_HappyMewYearJan. 2: Get it?

Memento Mori “Remember You Die” Day

Jan. 3: Just a friendly reminder!


Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day

Jan. 22: We warned you. According to PetCentric, “The proper way to participate in National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day is to be aware of your cat on a more conscious level, and notice when your cat is trying to ask you something. Your job is to stop what you’re doing and try to figure out what your cat is asking, and do your best to answer the question.” So … yeah.


Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day

Jan. 24: According to the day’s Facebook page, this one was created to commemorate the 1848 discovery of gold in California. “All y’ gotta do is, … well, … Talk like a grizzled prospector, dagnabbit!” So it’s really Say ‘Dagnabbit’ A Lot Day.


Avocado and Banana Month

February: Anyone want to explain to us why these two fruits are combined? We’ve eaten avocado with just about everything but banana …


Vitals_CrazyOldWoman_SpunkyOldBroadSpunky Old Broads Month

February: That one time a year when old ladies everywhere can embrace their inner Betty White and go wild. Join a flash mob, visit a nude beach, prank the local teenagers. Whatever floats your boat.



Dump Your Significant Jerk Week

Feb. 3-9: Intentionally scheduled a week before Valentine’s Day, this holiday gives women (or men!) the chance to say “Suck it!” to greeting card companies everywhere and end their bad relationships despite pressure from the upcoming holiday. (Like most of these observances, you shouldn’t need an official week to do this.)


Vitals_HulaGirlHula in the Coola Day

Feb. 1: Someone out there felt the need to officially tell you that you should ignore the freezing temperatures and possible snow outside one day each winter and throw a luau — grass skirt, coconuts, piña coladas and all. Because that’s exactly what women have always wanted: for bikini season to be a year-round thing.


Working Naked Day

Feb. 1: Even better. Forget the bikini (see Hula in the Coola Day, above) and just go nude. Home office required.


Cow Milked While Flying in an Airplane Day

Feb. 18: A day to remember one of America’s greatest heroes: Elm Farm Ollie, the first cow to fly in an airplane on Feb. 18, 1931. According to the Dairy Farmers of America’s website, “During the flight, she was milked and the milk was sealed in paper containers and parachuted over St. Louis, Miss.” Or you might have just celebrated Presidents Day.


Turkey Vultures Return to the Living Sign

Vitals_CanisteoLivingSignMarch 11-17: There’s no way to explain this bizarre holiday — celebrated in Canisteo Valley in Canisteo, N.Y. — without just directly quoting Chase’s Calendar of Events: “Traditionally turkey vultures return on St. Pat’s Day to their roosting sites in and around the world-famous living sign, as mentioned in ‘Ripley’s Believe It or Not.’ The sign spells out ‘Canisteo’ using 250 trees on a ridge above Greenwood Street.” Yay, turkey vultures!


Vitals_FannyPackInternational Fanny Pack Day

March 9: Just to be clear: This does not make it acceptable to wear a fanny pack.




Viagra Day

March 27: The Food and Drug Administration approved the use of Viagra for the treatment of erectile dysfunction on March 27, 1998. So go ahead and celebrate Viagraversary if you want — we don’t need to know how.


Weed Appreciation Day

March 28: Because April 20 just wasn’t enough.


Holy Humor Month

April: Celebrate by telling Christian jokes or re-watching George Carlin’s stand-up on religion and God.


Bat Appreciation Week

Vitals_BatFlyingApril 14-20: Because bats need love too.




Baby Massage Day

April 13: What about a Mom Massage Day? Doesn’t that make more sense?


Vitals_HairballNational Hairball Awareness Day

April 26: Hairballs. They’re out there. Be aware.



Batman Day

May 1: Because that Batman costume was just too expensive to only wear during Comic-Con.


Photo source: MikeTheHeadlessChicken.org

Photo source: MikeTheHeadlessChicken.org

Mike, the Headless Chicken Day

May 19-20: To remember the only chicken with his own Wikipedia page.



Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day

May 29: Supposedly putting a pillow on top of your fridge brings good luck and wealth to households. And somehow there’s a whole day for that and no “Buy a Lottery Ticket Day.”


World Naked Bike Ride Month

June: The only thing more freeing than riding a bike is riding a bike naked. By the way, it’s legal to go topless in New York City. Just throwing it out there.


Yell “Fudge” at the Cobras in North America Day

Vitals_CobraJune 2: Literally. According to Chase’s Calendar of Events, “In order to keep poisonous cobra snakes out of North America, all citizens are asked to go outdoors at noon, local time, and yell ‘Fudge!’ Fudge makes cobras gag, and the mere mention of it makes them skedaddle.”



Ugliest Dog Day

June 21: Wait, seriously? Cats get “Happy Mew Year” and “Answer your Cat’s Questions Day,” and dogs get “Ugliest Dog Day?” Unbelievable.



National Wheelchair Beautification Month

July: It’s like “Pimp My Ride,” only for seniors.


Take Your Houseplant for a Walk Today

July 27: “Walking your plants around the neighborhood enables them to know their environment, thereby providing them with a sense of knowing, bringing on wellness.” Suddenly, answering a cat’s questions doesn’t sound so unreasonable.


Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night

Vitals_WomanHoldingBasketOfZucchiniJuly 8: Wellcat.com says, “Due to overzealous planting of zucchini, citizens are asked to drop off baskets of the squash on neighbors’ doorsteps.” To everyone without a porch: No zucchini for you!

Fish Tank Floorshow Night

Sept. 28: Fish have to entertain you all the time. On Sept. 28, it’s time to reverse the roles. “Gather family and friends ‘round the aquarium and dance and sing.” In other words, it’s Another Way to Make Your Kids Uncomfortable Day.


Vitals_BaldAndProudBe Bald and Be Free Day

Oct. 14: Wig out! No, seriously. Throw the wig out. This is a day to prove bald can be beautiful.


Sinkie Day

Nov. 29: We learned something new today: There apparently is a whole community of people called “sinkies” who occasionally dine over the kitchen sink. So this is a day to “become acquainted with the sinkie style of dining,” according to Chase’s Calendar of Events. And it’s, of course, sponsored by the International Association of People Who Dine Over The Kitchen Sink.


Bathtub Party Day

Dec. 5: Interpret how you wish.


Vitals_PoliceBoxTARDISDrWhoPretend to be a Time Traveler Day

Dec. 8: Because when else are you going to get away with Dr. Who role-playing?