If food brands were brutally honest, these would be their slogans

Let’s get real for a second: Digiorno tastes nothing like delivery, and you really only buy Gatorade when you’re A) recovering from a stomach bug or B) recovering from a booze-filled night out. What if brand slogans decided to tell it like it is? 

That’s the whole concept behind, which pairs brand logos with fake slogans that represent consumers’ true feelings for the products. For the most part, the creators are right on point — though we’re hesitant to back Hidden Valley Ranch’s fake slogan simply because recent research has found that a fattier salad dressing might actually maximize your body’s absorption of nutrients. (The key is moderation, people.) 

Check out some of the food-related ones below, and visit to see more. 
















Submitted by Anonymous on

As a lifetime fan of Waffle House, I respectfully object to the depiction of this restaurant as a night-time place for drunks. I'm writing from inside a Waffle House RIGHT NOW! At any time of day or night, Waffle House serves delicious hash brows, covered, chunked, topped with onions and smothered in chili. …

Actually. You're right. It's 2am and I'm drunk.

Submitted by casey on

Nice Macduff

Submitted by Syxx on


Submitted by bayoumama on

I agree with Macduff. Waffle House is good any time of day. It's noon and I am not drunk. However, it's noon on Saturday and at 2am I will be drunk and Waffle House is on my list of things to do later. Just something about smothered, covered, chunked and capped hash browns that makes ya feel like part of the human race again!

Submitted by Lynn t on

Very funny. Right on the money.

Submitted by Kathie on

drunk at WH? Nothing beats a greasy ham and cheese omlet. Trust me, been there done that. It's the best. :-)

Submitted by Lewellen on

Waffle House hashbrowns are good anytime of day, but on top of a belly full o booze, they're transcendent! Oh, and chocolate chip waffles are pretty awesome too.

Submitted by julespeak on

I've never tried those delicious hash brows, but I'm putting it on my list for next Saturday, er...Sunday at 2 am.

Submitted by tina on

oh shut up. I wish it was 2 am and I was drunk so I could be at a waffle house

Submitted by Your friendly W... on

Ahem.... That would be "smothered" with onions and "topped" with chili...

And it is actually MUCH more busy at waffle house between 7 am and noon, than it is at 2 am...

Submitted by YoYoYo - Gnome ... on

I once got stuck at the Atlanta Airport overnight, and made my way to a Waffle House for breakfast at 4am. There were several ladies of the evening at the table behind me discussing their customers of the past few hours. And at the table in front of me were their pimps, keeping a close watch on their property.

I found myself in an interesting position, which I never want to replicate...

Submitted by Some one on

Macduff that's pretty funny.

Submitted by Caller Outter! on

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:34
Actually. You're right. It's 2am and I'm drunk.


Submitted by Jimmy Jones on

You forgot Taco Bell..

Because I've been constipated!

Or maybe ...

It's authentic Mexican (made to suit the tastes of lazy Americans) for people "on the go" Go GO GO GO I think I might shit myself

Submitted by Anonymous on

In Mexico Taco Bell is considered authentic American food...

Submitted by ams0064 on

And EPT: the original "oh shit" of high schoolers

Submitted by Philip on

I guess I just don't get this one? I drink Gatorade often. Working, playing, just plain thirsty. I have never had a hangover (never drank alcohol) or had a 'bug' (healthy as a horse at age 42). Most people I know drink Gatorade on a regular basis and are not sickly drunks. The rest are funny.

Submitted by Anonymous on

Then this clearly was not meant for you, but nice subtle brag. Douche.

Submitted by m on

Haha so true.

Submitted by Jeff on

Philip you must have lived a boring life. Gatorade is made for hangovers so shut your dirty pie hole.

Submitted by You are all wrong. on

Gatorade is to prevent hangovers. Drink a quart when you go to bed. Eat some bread or pasta. Take a B-Complex vitamin. When you wake up, avoid coffee. Eat a grape fruit. Go get a large coke Slurpy/Icee. After two hours, have a chili dog.

Submitted by Papa Bear on

Why can't they make it a WHOLE LOT less expensive to eat healthy? Or at least make it more convenient. Taco Bell gets old after a while, McDonald's is good, however, their "Healthy stuff" has a tendency to taste like crap!

Submitted by JustSaying on

It seems it would be cheaper just to serve "food" instead of having to process,test and add all sorts of crap to food. Why is a grill chicken (no breading, not oil to deep fry) more expensive then the breaded chicken?
*** Further, DiGor. pizza IS better then some delivery pizza because the chains are just that - chain "processed" cookie cutter food.

Submitted by Marcus on

Bob Evans, local watering hole of the old and cenile.

Submitted by Ernie on

You should learn how to spell senile

Submitted by Patrick on

Maybe he forgot how.

Submitted by George on

He used to be able to spell it before he became it....

Submitted by Gayle on

Also used when doing the big clean out prior to colonoscopy!

Submitted by Jesse on

Another slogan could be

Waffle House, because you're a musician & it's the only place open at 2 am.

Submitted by Ted on

Sign recently spotted in the window of my neighborhood Waffle House . . . "We Cater!"

Just what kind of gathering would be appropriate for Waffle House to cater?

Submitted by east bound and down on

If Waffle House catered your wedding, you might be a redneck.

Submitted by Anonymous on

The time stamp is from the location of the servers for this site. Not necessarily the location of the person posting.

Submitted by Doritotaco on

Taco Bell: We designed a fourth meal especially for your munchies.

Submitted by Tally ho on

I had no idea Waffle House patrons could even read?

Submitted by Some Dude on

The new all night stoner menu is amazing. Oohhhh wait a kitty....


Submitted by mzzjoy on

Aw give em a break.
Any restaurant that's open for 24 hours gets a "drunk" rep. Because after last call and yall are still having a good time, where else would you go!

Submitted by Jordan long d on

Waffle House

Because you couldn't afford Dennie's or IHOP

Submitted by TSTORY on

Honestly, I have never been to a Waffle House at 2am because the local Waffle House isn't open at 2am. For us here in Topeka, Kansas, that slogan works for Denny's. NOW, that is the 2am and drunk spot.

Submitted by Anonymous on

Cracker Barrel - "yes our name perfectly represents our clientele"

Submitted by Anonymous on

"Crack whore barrel!!!" Lol

Submitted by Countrygent on

I beg to differ, when you live where I live (in the Ozarks) DiGiorno pizza is actually better than delivery.....

Submitted by Sue S on

Because it is wrong to give kids candy for breakfast

Submitted by AC on

Eating healthy is not always more expensive. It's more about being lazy. Why cook a healthy meal when you can go to mcdonalds and have someone else cook for you and have your food in a few minutes? In the long run, you could save yourself from health costs later on by spending the extra dollar for a healthier choice

Submitted by Jennifer on

These comments are almost as funny as the original post!

Submitted by Whataburger on

Now a Whataburger in Texas tops any breakfast place like IHOP, Waffle House, or Denny's at 2 a.m., drunk or not.

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